I have a friend who is a conversationalist like no other. Its unbelievable how someone you couldnt stand until yesterday is the someone you walk with discussing many deep things today! How this happened is a story for another day...
Today I'm excited to share with you our conversation that could just bless you. So here it is:
Last month I went over to catch up with Sandra after work. She doesnt have as much time for me these days like she used to. But thats because she is completely married to Alex and she is so busy mothering David. This just reminded me of another story which I will tell you another time.
So when I went to hang with her, we had tea and then decided to take David for a walk. We went to the park and started our usual discussion around the deep things of life. Having seen me get through the worst storm ever, and having been there encouraging me and sometimes simply listening to me repeat the same thing a 1000 times over (literally), we reflected on those hard, dark and disappointing times.
Sandra asked me something so profound and something that echoes in every believer's heart. She asked, "Tell me plucks, what happened seems so unfair and yet the GOD we pray to is supposed to be so fair, and so just, and so loving, and so caring. HE knows the end from the beginning, then why does HE test us which such hard, heart-ripping tests???"
This used to be a question ringing in my head too, for many years. For many years till I read Warren Wiersbe explain this in his book - Prayers, Praise & Promises. So I replied, "Sandra you know what happened before the storm? I imagined that my faith is perfect. Infact a day before the storm broke out, I was walking down Lonsdale Quay with a skip in my walk. So content with what was happening in life. My ticket was booked, I was ready and excited to go back to India. My struggle to save money for the wedding was almost over. My gown had arrived and fit perfectly. I was going to marry the man of my dreams. All my dreams were just about to be realized. My walk with JESUS was never more enjoyable than now. And I said to myself 'vow plakilla, you are doing well, you are awesome, you love the LORD. It's perfect'. I even went to bed that night feeling those top of the world feelings."
I continued, "Then just a night after, so suddenly, everything came crashing down. Right before me. I had absolutely no control over anything around me. From that moment onwards, whatever I did to fix the problem made it worse. And the worse it became, the more I tried to fix it. I was stuck in this crazy loop. My strength quickly diminishing. My faith diminishing quicker than my strength. I alternated between fighting with GOD and praying to HIM. There were long spaces of not communicating with HIM at all. I had so many unanswered questions. I had so many doubts I wanted cleared right then. I almost lost my mind and lost complete control over my emotions. I slipped into depression and couldnt eat for months. I went on a liquid diet. And then one of those days I read Warren Wiersbe's commentary on Psalm 17. GOD tests us to show us our own hearts. To show us what our faith is really made up of. Our reactions and reponses to lives trials and tragedies show us the quality of our faith. When I read that Sandra, I knew I dont have the great faith. I could never have been more ashamed of my faith than when it was tested. By this time I had lost everything and was reduced to nothing. This realization brought me closer to JESUS. I knew I'm frail and helpless and I need HIM so much all the time".
Like me, Sandra was blessed with this thought and I hope this thought blessed you too.
Today I'm excited to share with you our conversation that could just bless you. So here it is:
Last month I went over to catch up with Sandra after work. She doesnt have as much time for me these days like she used to. But thats because she is completely married to Alex and she is so busy mothering David. This just reminded me of another story which I will tell you another time.
So when I went to hang with her, we had tea and then decided to take David for a walk. We went to the park and started our usual discussion around the deep things of life. Having seen me get through the worst storm ever, and having been there encouraging me and sometimes simply listening to me repeat the same thing a 1000 times over (literally), we reflected on those hard, dark and disappointing times.
Sandra asked me something so profound and something that echoes in every believer's heart. She asked, "Tell me plucks, what happened seems so unfair and yet the GOD we pray to is supposed to be so fair, and so just, and so loving, and so caring. HE knows the end from the beginning, then why does HE test us which such hard, heart-ripping tests???"
This used to be a question ringing in my head too, for many years. For many years till I read Warren Wiersbe explain this in his book - Prayers, Praise & Promises. So I replied, "Sandra you know what happened before the storm? I imagined that my faith is perfect. Infact a day before the storm broke out, I was walking down Lonsdale Quay with a skip in my walk. So content with what was happening in life. My ticket was booked, I was ready and excited to go back to India. My struggle to save money for the wedding was almost over. My gown had arrived and fit perfectly. I was going to marry the man of my dreams. All my dreams were just about to be realized. My walk with JESUS was never more enjoyable than now. And I said to myself 'vow plakilla, you are doing well, you are awesome, you love the LORD. It's perfect'. I even went to bed that night feeling those top of the world feelings."
I continued, "Then just a night after, so suddenly, everything came crashing down. Right before me. I had absolutely no control over anything around me. From that moment onwards, whatever I did to fix the problem made it worse. And the worse it became, the more I tried to fix it. I was stuck in this crazy loop. My strength quickly diminishing. My faith diminishing quicker than my strength. I alternated between fighting with GOD and praying to HIM. There were long spaces of not communicating with HIM at all. I had so many unanswered questions. I had so many doubts I wanted cleared right then. I almost lost my mind and lost complete control over my emotions. I slipped into depression and couldnt eat for months. I went on a liquid diet. And then one of those days I read Warren Wiersbe's commentary on Psalm 17. GOD tests us to show us our own hearts. To show us what our faith is really made up of. Our reactions and reponses to lives trials and tragedies show us the quality of our faith. When I read that Sandra, I knew I dont have the great faith. I could never have been more ashamed of my faith than when it was tested. By this time I had lost everything and was reduced to nothing. This realization brought me closer to JESUS. I knew I'm frail and helpless and I need HIM so much all the time".
Like me, Sandra was blessed with this thought and I hope this thought blessed you too.
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