Such A Waste Of Time...

So often things happen in life...the kind of things that don't translate into success. Like the two jobs I was interviewing for the last couple of weeks. Everything seemed to be going so well. And then, at the tail end of it, neither came through. 

With failure comes introspection... thoughts such as "What did I do wrong?" or "What did I say wrong?" or "What could I have done differently" and such... with failure also comes comparison and that begets negativity and that births resentment. Naturally!

But Spiritually speaking, God knows. Nothing that happens is outside His will and His timing.

I cannot comprehend what this loss means. What seemed like a miraculous answer to prayer didn't end positively. And this wasn't the first time. I cannot understand why GOD would put me through this interview when it was never meant to be. When I have been praying and waiting on Him for a breakthrough for so long now. And there are many events in my life and in the life of any Christian that seem to end like this ...this never makes sense to my logical mind. And this is when I have to allow faith to takeover sight, and feelings and logic and reason and I have to make a stubborn choice to trust the Lord with all that is within me, to know in a very real and experiential way that He alone is in complete control over every single detail. In things that pan out and in things that don't, He is still making a way.

God is always surprising me. In the past I just could not handle a disappointment well because I did not know my God well enough. But as God showed me His faithfulness from one test to another trial, I began to discover how wonderfully He works. Even in the most hopeless of situations He has something for me, so often He does something for me...something always so marvelous and so praiseworthy. This encourages me to pray and to stand on His promises and to keep on going on.

I don't know how, or what, or when...but I know He knows exactly how I feel right this moment and what He did in the past He will do again...

We Are the King's Ambassadors

  A certain fellow took a trip on an airplane and was seated next to a chemist. “I know a little
bit about chemistry,” the fellow told the chemist, and he proceeded to rattle off a couple of formulas. After some discussion, the chemist was obviously impressed with his knowledge.  “Say, you do know a little bit about chemistry,” the chemist said. “What do you do?”  “I am an ambassador,” the fellow said. “I represent the King.”

“I have never met an ambassador before. So you were sent here from another country?”
 

“Yes, I was.”
 

“So, you are only here temporarily?”
 

The traveler said, “Yes, that’s right.”
 

“What king do you serve?” the chemist asked.
 

“I represent King Jesus,” was the man’s answer.

“He sent me, and He is seeking for you. He wanted to bring you a message, to show you kindness and mercy, and to pour out His love to you.”

The chemist prayed to receive Christ and was saved.

 


                                                                   Excerpt from Called to the King’s Table by Dr Carl Stevens



 

 

It Can Be Done

Hattie Wyatt was seven years old. She went to a little church just outside of Philadelphia. It was all broken down in a very dirty looking building. But the preacher was good.

She came home early one day, and her mother said, "Why are you home? Why aren’t you in Sunday School?" She said, "Because the place is small and it’s full and there’s no room for me."

So Hattie got on her knees, and she said, "Mom, I’m going to sign a contract with God today that He will bring in a great, big, beautiful church because the way that preacher preaches, he’s going to need it."

Within just a month, Hattie came down with consumption and died, and the small assembly gathered at her funeral. Her mother showed them the contents of her little pocketbook: fifty seven pennies and a prayer that read, "God can do it."

The pastor began to get overwhelmed, and this man, Dr. Russell Conwell, wrote Acres of Diamonds. Motivated by Hattie’s life to write that book, he made six million dollars. Then from Temple Baptist Church they built Temple University and Temple Hospital.

You see, a seven-year-old girl believed that she had authority with heaven. She was just seven, and God took her home. She left fifty seven pennies and a prayer, "God can do it."

Agape

Has you experienced a huge need for things you've always taken for granted?

One of the top things in my "took for granted" list is fellowship in my church back home. The deep things of God addressing the deep needs of my soul kind of conversations. I have a handful of friends I enjoy fellowshipping with here in Vancouver. Yet, nothing comes close to those raps, after service meals, surprise birthday parties, family camps, coffees with friends, etc.., etc...

I have been attending a bible study since September. The group is a nice mix of age groups including 5 university students. As for me, I get along better with people my age or older. I have trouble mixing with people younger than me because I cant seem to enjoy a nice meaningful conversation with young adults.

The leader of my group is young and the apprenticing couple is also very young. Coming from a background of solid Bible teaching, its hard to deal with messages and conversations that don't draw out the deep things. So, I sit there questioning and judging and wondering about what people are saying. Many times, in the course of the study, God's showing me how He has no trouble meeting people where they are at in their walk with Him. We are all at different points in our journey after all. 

One evening, before leaving for the study, I sat down to pray. As I was asking God to prepare my heart for the study I felt God impressing on my heart to stay quiet, to not say anything at the study. He was asking me to just be quiet and that was going to minister grace to the group. I knew what God was asking me to do and planned to do it His way.

At the study, people began sharing what they thought God was showing them. These university kids were sharing things that did not make sense to me and right then a great need to speak was surging within me. In my head I knew this was good stuff and the group would greatly benefit from. So at the next opportunity, I shared my thoughts. The moment I finished saying everything I wanted to say, I felt God's rebuke. His Spirit was showing me that I may have very good content but I wasn't sharing from a place of agape love. My behavior was not Spirit led or Spirit controlled. But I thought I shared a very fantastic thought... I was not comfortable and in response to the Lord's beckoning, I entered a time of prayer. God showed me I wasn't Spirit led or Spirit controlled. I wasn't acting very different from Nadab and Abihu who acted out of God's will and timing.

I catch myself acting like them all the time. When Christianity becomes a process and the love of Christ is not constraining me, I'm just a clashing gong...a noisy person.

I prayed "Lord, how I want a heart that's rooted in Jesus, radiating His love, mercy and grace at all times and with everyone...not age specific grace, not race specific or denominationally different but greater grace....because that's what I receive from You every moment."

Would you like a cup of tea as well?

You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth'. But I say to you, do not resist an evil person; but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. If anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, let him have your coat also. Whoever forces you to go one mile, go with him two. Give to him who asks of you, and do not turn away from him who wants to borrow from you.
                                                                                                                        Matthew 5: 38-42 (NASB)


I want to write this down lest I forget... it had been one of the hardest seasons... career-wise. With no leads and no prospects even after a year long search, I lived downcast and with each day I was getting more discouraged.

My job search began a year earlier. I had resigned and expected to find work within the notice period (ambitious!) Since I had not found anything by my last day, my boss so kindly offered me an extension till I found a job. It all seemed so temporary and I happily worked expecting to find something soon. I did not have a job title - my replacement got my title. I did not have a desk or a clear job description either. As a result I slowly began doing odds and ends for every department. Since I didn't have anyone to report to, I became everyone's personal assistant. As you can imagine, this was getting very frustrating.

Very often, I was tempted to feel like a doormat. But God was teaching me a new lesson...

One of the heads began treating me like a handyman asking me to do a lot of silly things like run to the store for a set of batteries or cable hooks. He was getting on my nerves and I was biting my lips... trying hard not get reactionary.

One evening, I was at my desk discussing a project with one of the directors. This person came up to me and asked me to get his visitor a glass of water. I just stared at him for a few seconds thinking of the best thing I could come up with. Instead I said "Okay". Inside of me, I was just so furious. How dare he ask me to bring him water... if only he looked at my resume! The director talking to me couldn't suppress his shock either and was upset at this man's attitude. I was very quick to tell my colleague about how this has been happening all the time. To which he said, "Let me handle this". So he went to the kitchen and came out with the 2 glasses of water and took it to the boardroom. the guy's instant response was "Why did you have to bring us water!"

This was a brilliant thing to do from the world's perspective. But God was not cheering me on. Instead, His Spirit was convicting me and teaching me obedience in the things I was suffering.

I often hear people say a Christian does not have to be a doormat. It's never been clearer... what the world calls a 'doormat ', we call,  'Christlikeness'. I was happy to be a smartass but unwilling to be Christ-like. Jesus showed me not just in words but by example as well. He taught me what a laid down life looks like. Yet, I keep taking my life into my own hands. I sat in bed late that night, my Bible opened to Jeremiah 17:7-9 and I was reflecting on the day and the season in general. Matthew 5:38-42 came to my mind. It was like a message being preached to me in my head. I now knew the right thing to say the next time this happens, I am going to say,"Would you like a cup of tea as well?"

Eureka, 2007

"When your children ask their fathers in time to come, saying, ‘What are these stones?’ 22 then you shall let your children know, saying, ‘Israel crossed over this Jordan on dry land’; 23 for the Lord your God dried up the waters of the Jordan before you until you had crossed over, as the Lord your God did to the Red Sea, which He dried up before us until we had crossed over, 24 that all the peoples of the earth may know the hand of the Lord, that it is mighty, that you may fear the Lord your God forever."

                                                                                                                                         Joshua 4:21-24

I have decided to write down all the incredible things God has been doing for me even before I acknowledged Him as my Lord. I decided to do this because I recognize this season as a good season to write about His great faithfulness....

EUREKA, 2007

I worked for a technology giant and was doing very well for myself. I got to work on some of the best projects in the company pertaining to my team and all this was working in my favor. But still I wasn't interested in career progression. What I was really interested in is getting married and having babies and having a nice stable career. While the rest of my team was working towards the most coveted promotion, I was aspiring to be a perfect wife and a great mom!

It was around this time that I began reading the Bible (on and off) and was very slowly opening up to all the initiations from God. My friend Pradeep was talking to me about Jesus and how much He loves me. Pradeep began sharing his faith with me two years ago but I never thought of doing anything about it for a very long time. And then, after a series of events, I began to explore the possibility of a God who loves me.

The story I am writing about is quite an incredible display of God's power:

For the first time, I got invited to an important brainstorming session to ideate about making a certain business process cost efficient. Everyone who got invited to these meetings were the thinking class of the company. My team was a highly competitive team and were doubly enthusiastic about bringing new ideas to the drawing board. It was very easy for someone as uncompetitive as me to feel out of place in this room filled with career minded individuals. The first thing I noticed was this girl who once told me she read over 3000 books! Also in this room were a couple of my colleagues who won several awards. My best friend and my boss's blue-eyed boy was in the room too. And as I say this, I'd like to state for the record that Michael being boss's blue-eyed boy was not an unjust favoritism. I had no problem with that because I knew he earned it by being the focused, bright and personable guy he was.

As the meeting began you could sense the tension to the very bone. Everybody was shooting their best suggestions, everybody was at their creative best. And I, I did not have a single smart thing to say. This was a belittling moment for me and wished I'd just melt there... just vanish. And then I called out to the God I was just getting to know. And I said "Jesus, if you brought me into this meeting give me something to say. I feel pretty dumb sitting here with nothing to contribute." I don't remember what triggered the next thought that ran through my head. And I blurted it out aloud. I didn't even allow myself to think it through before saying it. There was silence. My boss said "That's great" and he drew the flowchart on the whiteboard. He liked it, the guy from the strategy planning team liked it and the meeting concluded. The meeting concluded with my idea! It was going to be made into a project to test it's cost effectiveness. I was stumped. My best friend Michael was stumped. People congratulated me as they walked out of the room. Michael remembered this was something we did in the previous company we both worked for. And I remember him exclaiming "that was so neat Plaks. Why didn't I think of it? How did you think about it?" I was still numb and shocked, and I said "I don't know Michael, but I just prayed to Jesus. I asked Him to give me something to say."

Now that slip-of-the-tongue idea went on to become a big project. It got me the promotion I was not working towards, a huge bonus and a major award. It also made me quite famous. I was receiving congratulatory emails from all over. The CEO, himself,  sent me an email telling me how much he appreciated my contribution!!

I want to remember this story when nothing seems to be going my way. I want to be reminded of all the things God is and has done for me and is doing for me and that He will work all things together for me again and again and again and forever....

 

GOD Alone!

I am on the brink of wishing my family good bye and its hard. It's so hard to see them leave not knowing when I get to see them next, given our culture to be very very close to family. On the other hand, I have always wrestled with another kind of weakness, i.e. keeping away from the phone to hear a tangible audible voice that comforts and counsels when trials get the best of me. Falling seventy times seven, confessing Proverbs 24:16 and trying harder the next time I'm hit. Feeling successful each time I overcame a trial without a phone call and completely discouraged when I failed. This morning I asked the LORD to give me something for today.... like fresh manna this devotional is so timely :-)

Hope this blesses you...

 

"On mine arm shall they trust."
Isaiah 51:5

In seasons of severe trial, the Christian has nothing on earth that he can trust to, and is therefore compelled to cast himself on his God alone. When his vessel is on its beam-ends, and no human deliverance can avail, he must simply and entirely trust himself to the providence and care of God. Happy storm that wrecks a man on such a rock as this! O blessed hurricane that drives the soul to God and God alone! There is no getting at our God sometimes because of the multitude of our friends; but when a man is so poor, so friendless, so helpless that he has nowhere else to turn, he flies into his Father's arms, and is blessedly clasped therein! When he is burdened with troubles so pressing and so peculiar, that he cannot tell them to any but his God, he may be thankful for them; for he will learn more of his Lord then than at any other time. Oh, tempest-tossed believer, it is a happy trouble that drives thee to thy Father! Now that thou hast only thy God to trust to, see that thou puttest thy full confidence in him. Dishonour not thy Lord and Master by unworthy doubts and fears; but be strong in faith, giving glory to God. Show the world that thy God is worth ten thousand worlds to thee. Show rich men how rich thou art in thy poverty when the Lord God is thy helper. Show the strong man how strong thou art in thy weakness when underneath thee are the everlasting arms. Now is the time for feats of faith and valiant exploits. Be strong and very courageous, and the Lord thy God shall certainly, as surely as he built the heavens and the earth, glorify himself in thy weakness, and magnify his might in the midst of thy distress.

 

 

"Yet I reserve seven thousand in Israel--all whose knees have not bowed down to Baal and whose mouths have not kissed him."

The last few months felt very dark and cold. Not just because of the winter, but the lack of fellowship that has always kept me so warm and ablaze. I was missing the prayer times and the raps that was my daily diet back home. My best friends in India who are GOD's faithful servants and all our conversations that revolved around testimonies and mission fields and biographies. It was around this time of discouragement that Judy, my new friend from church invited me to a Missions Fest. I thought to myself 'Missions Fest...I wouldn't miss that for anything in the world"

We went over to Canada Place on Saturday morning and I felt like Elijah. And the LORD who didn't rebuke Elijah for feeling alone, but encouraged him with this verse - "Yet I reserve seven thousand in Israel--all whose knees have not bowed down to Baal and whose mouths have not kissed him."

I stood in the midst of GOD's faithful and was overjoyed to know I'm not alone. Judy and I attended a praise session, we heard a message and then watched a documentary on Mozambique and for the first time I heard about the beautiful work of redemption there.

 

 While we sit in the comfort of our beautiful warm homes wondering why is there suffering in Mozambique or Somalia or Cambodia, real Christians decide to be like JESUS and go and do the work the LORD did in our lives. And not just half way around the world, but ever so often our mission is across our streets and within our hoods. And that was just the theme of the Missions Fest.

 

We walked around the exhibition area and looked at the various missionary organizations. Everyone together under one roof - so thrilling!

 

 I took a moment to worship the LORD in the midst of HIS faithful.... to think we all will be in Heaven together!

 

 

 

 

It's an honor to know that I am not alone in my discouragement and that GOD never leaves me to figure it out. HE knows the point of my discouragement and HE arranges everything to meet me just there...